दृष्टी

 घरी बसून असंच बोर होत होतं, त्यातून बस पास तर काढलाय पण महिनाभर निघायच्या वेळी नेमका पाउस असायचा, म्हणून पास असाच पडून होता. इथून ३६ मैल दूर असलेल्या गावापर्यंत बस जाते, म्हणून तेथील एखाद-दोन संग्रहालय बघून येण्याचा घाट घातला. शनिवार म्हणल्यावर उशिरा उठणार, पहिली बस सुटणारच, दुसरी बस त्यातल्या त्यात वेळ वाचवून पकडावी म्हणून विमानतळापर्यंत गाडीने गेले आणि अगदी चुकता चुकता बस गाठलीच. 

Plan:
१०  - १२ : बस १
१ २ - ३ : संग्रहालय
३-५ : शेवटची बस ३ वाजता सुटते आणि ५ ला घरी पोहोचते. ती बस चुकली तर ४ ला अजून एक बस २५ मैल दूरच्या मधल्या एका गावी सोडेल. हे दुसरे गाव gives me dangerous vibes, म्हणून मला शक्यतोवर ३ ची बस गाठायची होती. एक संग्रहालय मी आणि खेयानी पूर्वी जाता-येता बाहेरून पाहिलं होतं म्हणून परतीची बस चुकलीच तर मला घ्यायला कुठे यायचं ते खेयाला hopefully माहिती होतं.

 "कमजोर कडी" एकाच बस वर अवलंबून आहे म्हणल्यावर मी सायकल न्यायला हवी होती, पण असाच plan मागे एकदा मी पार पाडला होता म्हणून जरा overconfidence झाला.
चुकले कुठे: संग्रहालयात जायला 12 वाजता बस २ पकडायची होती. म्हणजेच परत यायची बस २ गाठायला संग्रहालयातून २ वाजताच निघायचं होतं. म्हणजे खरी "कमजोर कडी" मी हेरलीच नव्हती. 

संग्रहालय १ ठीकठाक च होते. ते म्हणे अठराव्या शतकात ते गाव कसे होते व त्यातले लोक कसे राहायचे याचे जतन करणारे संग्रहालय होते. म्हणजे लहान मुलांचे कपडे, दुपटी, स्वयंपाकघरातली उपकरणे, नकाशे अश्या गोष्टी त्या संग्रहालयात होत्या. जाता जाता मी त्यांच्या वहीत लिहिले - माझे घर देखील आज १०० वर्षांचे आहे. आज घरातल्या अनेक outdated गोष्टींना मी भंगार समजत होते, तोही एक वारसा आहे याची दृष्टी मला या संग्रहालयाने दिली. (म्हणजे चोर चिलटांनी भले थोरले पितळी घंगाळ वगैरे गोष्टी already लुप्त केल्या आहेत, बाकी जे उरले ते जतन करायची दृष्टी).

संग्रहालय २ अक्षरश: शेजारच्या गल्लीत होते. हा space coast असल्याने space programs शी संलग्न अनेक गोष्टी या संग्रहालयात आहेत. हे खूपच मनोरंजक व माहितीदायक संग्रहालय आहे. जाता येता असेच "Liberty Bell Museum" दिसले होते पण "Liberty bell" कौनसा pokemon आहे ते मला येथे कळले. सुमारे 1.50 वाजता मी निघाले. त्या curator स्त्रीने मला बस कुठे मिळेल ते दाखवलं. पण अस्मादिकांना त्या स्त्री पेक्षा स्वतःच्या Iphone वर जास्त विश्वास! तर मी Iphone ने दाखवलेल्या बस थांब्यापाशी, म्हणजे संग्रहालय १ जवळ उभी राहिले. १५ मिनटात मला बस शेजारच्या गल्लीत जाताना दिसली. घाई घाईत डबा कोंबून मी नीट विचार करेपर्यंत बस चुकली होती!

4G वर संग्रहालयात कसं जायचं पाहण्यात, घरी बोलण्यात, दोन्ही ठिकाणी Iphone ने photo काढण्यात   battery 45% वर आलेली. मी पुन्हा 4G लावून Taxi वाल्यांचा फोन हुडकून त्यांना फोन करू लागले. पण नशीब पहा! हे गाव २ शहरांच्या मध्ये, म्हणून taxi इथल्या किंवा तिथल्या विमानतळावर सोडण्यापुरती. त्या वेळी ५-६ taxi वाल्यांपैकी कुणाकडेही गावात taxi हजर नव्हती. मी संग्रहालय १ मध्ये गेले आणि तिथल्या (चार) वृद्ध volunteer ना मला बस १ पर्यंत सोडायला सांगितल. त्या वेळी मी सोडून दुसरे कोणीही पर्यटक तेथे नव्हता. तरीही त्यांनी मला ३ च्या आधी त्यांना निघता येणार नाही असे सांगितले. आता मात्र मी जरा रडवेली झाले होते. मी संग्रहालय २ ला फोन लावला. Curator स्त्रीने मी सोडेन असे सांगितले. त्या संग्रहालयात त्या वेळी ७-८ पर्यटक आणि १ मदतनीस होते, तरी देखील ती स्त्री मला सोडायला आली, इतकच नव्हे तर मला बस १ मिळेपर्यंत माझ्यासोबत बसथांब्यावर थांबली. America capitalist देश आहे, स्वतःचा फायदा होणार नसेल तर कोणी काही करत नाही असा काहीसा माझा समज होता. या घटनेने थोड्या अंशी तरी अमेरिकेकडे बघायची नवी दृष्टी लाभली.  

Post trip back home

Funny things one does when visiting India after a stay in US/ after one is back in US:
That milk needs to be boiled after its delivered home seems to be a massive waste of time.
(When I 1st came to US, the mere thought that milk will be staying intact in fridge for 15+ days sounded like an overload of preservatives or whatever pasteurization step that achieves that. )

For a second I looked around my US kitchen to see where the gas lighter was.
(But that never happens in India, that I turned the burner on and forgot to use the lighter. Could be attributed to that characteristic LPG smell, or more importantly to my granny's super organized kitchen, where the gas lighter stares in your face when you look at the burner. )

You give your favourite top, which has so far always been washed in a washer, to the bai for washing. Post being scrubbed with the detergent soap, it comes out looking a ghost of its former self with its cotton lints bunched up.
No comments about the washing, but when I first landed in US, I thought drying clothes in a dryer and not in the sun is pure unhygienic. When the building management makes you sign the lease agreement which mentions that not drying your clothes out is for aesthetic enhancement of the building you LOL at their choosing appearance over utility.

Am I growing roots here? Or is it just that I see both from a 3rd person perspective now? 

Toastmasters

Life in the US can get a bit lonely at times, and my friend from DC, Teja, found the perfect solution with meetup.com. He is a programmer and joins meetups to learn different languages, but he told me there are several other categories of meetups too. UF had a group of outdoor enthusiasts, and ever since I graduated I wish every day that I found such a group where I am. Unfortunately the University here is made up of boring people who only have academic/ religious student groups, and very few recreational groups like sailing club, and climbing group. (They don't even have anything akin to Gator nights!!!) The average age here is 42 and I wasn't comfortable even with the idea of going on a remote hike with 42 year olds. But I did browse other meetups and found a group of coders and hackers, and the toastmasters. 

I RSVP'ed for a toastmasters meeting near office. As soon as I stepped in, a lady welcomed me. It was the 1st day of their yearly session, and they began with inducting the new officers. Then they started with the speaker of the day, and his evaluations. One very good point that the evaluator mentioned was that hand gestures should be symmetrical. Most people are right handed and end up gesturing exclusively with their right hands. But the speakers should bear in mind that the audience are seated on both sides, and so they should also try using the left hand once in a while.

Then we started with the table topics, in which multiple speakers have an extempore speech of 2 minutes, and I did speak up. I was good, but by no means was the best speaker in that meeting, yet ended up winning the Best Table Topics speaker. Haha, unfortunately, the new President, in his acceptance speech, had said that he won the prize on his 1st day, and so I knew it was just a lollipop to attract me to the club, and since I am no longer a kid who will be attracted solely by lollipops, the plan backfired. Then 3 different people approached me to tell me about the benefits of the club, and how I should join. BTW, I was looking for a free activity. I think they would need some membership fees for booking the meeting venue etc, but then the meeting can be held in any starbucks, or for that matter anywhere! Again, it is a very structured thing, because the evaluated speaker has to speak exclusively from the 10 topics enlisted in the toastmaster's syllabus. Even the table topics are chosen off a "suggested table topics" list, and so once you have the "syllabus" booklet, there is little scope for extempore. This starting and ending of every other sentence with "Madam toastmaster, or Mr Competent Communicator, or Distinguished toastmaster" seemed too pompous for me. (Imagine that I am in a meeting tomorrow, and every now and then I call people Mr. Program manager, or Mr Chip lead, they would think that I am being condescending or something.) What really pissed me off is that they expect "interjectors" to raise their hands and speak only when permitted. Needless to say, since I am no longer a school-kid, this raising hand business is a thing of past to me, and I was the "interjector", and someone among the members was actually counting the number of "interjections". (In the past year + 3 months of internship of attending meetings, that too, some over the phone, I don't remember a single instance that I had to "raise my hand" to let the speaker know that I wish to interject. :) ). "Again the 3 people mentioned that they will follow up with me by phone regarding the membership, and insisted that I get the membership. (Lol, one of the reasons to get the membership was that I will get an monthly magazine. I asked them if I can get the magazine online and save a few trees.) I think whether I want to improve my life or not should be upto my discretion. All in all, my first impression of toastmasters was not so favourable.

My next was a Coders meetup to learn python, and it was a real fun + learning experience. There was a 8 year old home-schooled boy competent in programming and that really impressed me. I agree, there are advantages of structured learning, but  this development of "other" skills is possible in a open learning environment. Hats off! Not just to the mom, but also to the American system, which will accept the boy later in his life when its time to join, say a college, once he has completed the requisites.

I decided to give the toastmasters another shot, and I attended another group's meeting. This time it was in a public library, and I asked the librarian if they need to pay for the meeting room. The librarian told me that it is a "public" library, and all the facilities are free of charge, one just needs to book the meeting room in advance. This group was much more informal. The interjections were a regular part of the meeting and not something to be frowned upon. Infact, there were much more laughs going around. The speaker to be evaluated not just had a structured speech, but followed it up with a unstructured Q&A. Again I was given a very good feedback, that non-native English speakers tend to omit articles (especially "the") because there is no "the" equivalent in the native Indian language. (hah, even in this sentence it should have been "the non-native English speakers". Now that I think about it, my intern supervisor had pointed this out too when I was writing the datasheet and the user guide as a System Engineer.) They were open enough to say that I can attend meetings if I want to, and the membership is just to get me started in leadership positions. Ah the freedom of speech :P

Habitat for the homeless

Was reading an article on Yahoo.com about a Master's student who lived as a homeless guy in a van in his college campus and thus was able to live debt free. He had essentially paid for the college parking, yet lived under the constant fear of being caught. I had wondered why because he was paying for the parking, and his tuition had a part to pay in the college infrastructure like the washrooms from the gym, or wifi from the library that he was using. I was pretty intrigued by the article and read few more articles/ blogs, which turned out to be an eyeopener.

1. Not all homeless guys are drug addicts. The homeless guy can be a guy with a day job who got evicted from his home for which he couldnt pay the mortgage. Or he can be any guy who lost his job and didnt have too many in savings.
The blogger who wrote from his experience said that its easier for women to move in with their parents, but not so much for the men. No no, no male ego popping up its ugly head - parents are more likely to open their arms to their daughters than to their sons. So atleast this % of homelessness was completely preventable had their been better friends/ parents or whatever. (A sidenote: I keep reading this: so and so did this good thing because he is a christian!! One does not need to be affiliated to any religion to be a good human.)

2. The same guy also mentions that many homeless are kids who ran away from their abusive homes. Kids, women, aged homeless and homeless with disabilities are more vulnerable to the homeless violence out there. Well basically this blogger ran away himself when he was 12. He has a blog titled something like "how to survive homelessness". He pointedly remarks that however abusive the home is you are safer home than running away.
Having read Oliver Twist, I am cynical about government / any institution having a place for run-away kids. But then having seen Slumdog Millionaire, if the kids are out, they are vulnerable to utmost violence - remember the scene in which they gouge out the guy's eyes so that he can beg better?

3. Is there any way we can help? That homeless blogger says he needs a secure place to sleep, and recommends low cost homeless hostels. He also requests other better-off people not to avert their eyes when they see a homeless someone. Just acknowledging that the problem exists in itself will help people. Not sure how, but I am guessing he was hinting at the Conservative Vs liberal view? The people I meet here in FL are conservatives, and they feel that people should work to feed themselves and not rely on food stamps.
Once I was just fasting for 1 day..still felt pretty run down at the end of it; I cant' even imagine how people stay alive eating half meals everyday. Sure, many homeless people out there may have that internal drive to work and to get out of their situation. But they also need food to fuel that drive. In a way, I feel food stamps are justified, provided they are not being misused. I am neither a conservative nor a liberal in the US sense, my observations are just based off the ration system in India.


I think the food that we pack as take home can be given to these guys (though my friends vehemently prevent me giving food to poor). I know there is  afood helpline in India, where wedding parties and all can donate their leftover food. But unfortunately there is no such concept in the US. My friends who used to work part-time in restaurants had told me that at the end of the day the restaurants just dump everything in the garbage can. And that's how I saw a homeless man scouring garbage cans in Gainesville. Dumping things in garbage can is simply racoon-inducive if nothing else. If only there was some way by which all the restaurants in a city could contribute the food to poor :( 

बहिरा कानून

सध्या FL मध्ये एक केस गाजत आहे, Citizen journalism सारखीच Neighbourhood Watch ची संकल्पना आहे. एक मुलगा घरी परतत असताना त्या सोसायटीच्या Neighbourhood watch वाल्या इसमाने त्याला पहिला, त्याला तो संशयास्पद वाटला. त्या इसमाने  पोलिसांना फोन लावला, आणि पोलिस येयीपर्यंत तो मुलगा "पळून जाऊ" नये म्हणून त्याचा पाठलाग केला. पोलीसाने त्याला निक्षून बजावलं की तू पाठलाग करू नकोस. तरीही तो त्या मुलामागे जात राहिला. पुढे काय घडलं ते फक्त २ लोकांना माहिती आहे - त्या इसमाला, आणि त्या मुलाला, ज्याला त्या इसमाने गोळी घालून ठार मारले. काल या केस चा निकाल लागला आणि त्या इसमाला "बा-इज्जत बरी" करण्यात आले आहे.

१. एखादा अनोळखी इसम पाठलाग करायला लागला म्हणून तो मुलगा पळायला लागला यात त्या मुलाने काय चुकीचे केले? त्या इसमाने स्वत:च कबूल केले की मी neighbourhood watch वाला आहे असं  त्याने मुलाला सांगितलं नाही . मग अश्यावेळी त्या मुलाला तो इसम चोर आहे असंच वाटलं असणार.
२. त्या इसमाच्या मते त्या मुलाने त्याच्यावर हल्ला केला. त्याच्या वकिलांनी न्यायालयात म्हणलं की मुलाने पदपथाचा वापर हत्यारासारखा केला.
त्या रात्री पाउस होता. Wikipedia वर त्या इसमाच्या जखमेचा फोटो आहे. एखादा माणूस पदपथाच्या चिखलावरून पाय घसरून पडला तर जसं खरचटेल तशीच जखम फोटोत दिसते. त्या मुलाने जर त्या इसमाला खाली पडून त्याच्या नाकावर बुक्के मारले असते तर कवटीचा थोडातरी चेंदामेंदा झाला असता. अशी कोणतीही जखम त्या इसमाच्या डोक्यावर नव्हती.
३. पोलिसांच्या फोन वर किंकाळ्या दर्ज झाल्या आहेत. इतके भारी signal processing softwares असताना तो आवाज नुकताच आवाज फुटायला लागलेल्या तरुण मुलाचा आहे, की matured माणसाचा आहे एवढही कळू नये?

त्या जखमांवरून काय घडलं असेल याचा अंदाज पहा: त्या इसमाने मुलाचा पाठलाग केला, मुलगा पळू लागला, इसम अधिकच जोरात पळू लागला, मुलगा मागे वळला आणि त्याने त्या इसमाच्या नाकावर बुक्का मारला. तो इसम चिखलावरून पाय घसरून पडला, पडता पडता त्याने मुलाचा sweater आधारासाठी ओढला, चिखलच तो! त्यामुळे मुलगा पण घसरून त्या इसमाच्या अंगावर पडला. आपला डाव आपल्यावर उलटू शकतो असं वाटताच त्या इसमाने मुलावर गोळी झाडली.

भारतात गरीब बिचारे public prosecutors Vs धनदांडगे criminal lawyers असतात म्हणून गुन्हेगार सुटतात असं वाटायचं. अमेरिकेसारख्या देशात पण गुन्हेगार सहजासहजी सुटतात ते वाचून अक्षरश: न्यायव्यवस्थेवरचा विश्वास कमी झालाय! कधी कधी वाटतं भुतं असायला पाहिजे होती - त्या "आप बीती" सिरीयल सारखं !

Matrimonial Website नावाचा जुगार -Part 2

४ . Trigger happy individuals
पहाटे पहाटे ६ ला एक फोन आला - मी अहमदनगर हून डॉक्टर So and So बोलतोय. त्या १ मिनटात अक्षरश: heart attack च्या पुढे मागे जे काही सगळे अवयव थिजायची प्रक्रिया असते ती अनुभवून झाली. पण छे छे, कोणतीही वाईट बातमी सांगण्यासाठी नव्हता तो फोन, "आमचा मुलगा डॉक्टर So and So" याच्या स्थळासाठी त्याच्या बाबांनी मला फोन केला होता. Unfortunately नगरचा आणि डॉक्टर माणूस म्हणून ६ वाजता दचकून उठल्यावर देखील मी त्यांच्याशी आदबीने बोलले. सर्वात height म्हणजे  असंही नाही की त्यांना US - India time conversion माहिती च नाही, कारण  त्यांचा मुलगा Virginia ला असतो.
मनात आलं स्वतःच्या मुलाला तरी सकाळी ६ वाजता फोन करायची हिम्मत झाली असती का त्यांची? मग ज्या वेळेला मुलाला फोन करू नये अश्या वेळी अनोळखी मुलीला फोन करवतोच कसा? दिसली profile आवडली profile, दिसतोय फोन नंबर तर लावला लगेच फोन? लग्नाच्या आधी तर सोडाच मुलीला approach करतानाच तिच्या वेळेची तिच्या झोपेची ज्यांना काडीमात्र किंमत नाही आहे ते लोक लग्नानंतर काय जाच करतील याची कल्पनाच केलेली बरी.
अजून काही आयांनी रात्री १२ नंतर, किंवा सकाळी १० वाजता office मध्ये असताना वगैरे फोन केलेत - ते आता या तुलनेने खूपच mild वाटतंय. (त्यातून आयांनी किती वाजलेत कळल्यावर at least sorry म्हणलं होतं)
P.S: खूप आधी मी एकदा एका मित्राला २ वाजता वगैरे फोन केला होता. In my defense, त्याआधी त्याने मला West Coast वरून सुट्टी असताना फोन केला होता, म्हणून नंतर मी सुमारे त्याच वेळेला त्याला फोन केला, तेव्हा नेमका तो CST ला होता. And again in my defense, हे सगळे PST/ CST/ EST चे किडे माहिती असायला त्या वेळी माझं कोणीही सख्खं US ला नव्हतं.

५.  संसार Vs career
आज मी कोणत्याही दृष्टीने मुलगा -engineer पेक्षा कमी नाही आहे, किंबहुना IQ Test च घ्यायचीच झाली तर I am among the top 1000 students of all branches in my batch in the nation, तर माझ्या batch च्या ६ लाख engineers पैकी किमान ५.५ लाख Engineers पेक्षा मी नक्कीच जास्त हुशार आहे. पण Shaadi.com वर profile टाकली रे टाकली, आणि मला एका US Master + Qualcomm Engineer मुलाने प्रश्न विचारला की "I seem to be very focused and career-oriented, then what made me open an account on Shaadi.com." आता याचे २ connotations निघू शकतात :माझं career भारी चाललय म्हणून  माझ्या आई बाबांनी मुलगा पहिला पाहिजे (जे मला हास्यास्पद वाटतं) किंवा  माझं career एवढंच जर भारी चाललय तर मला लग्न का करायचंय (आवरा!!!!)
आणि घरी आल्यावर हातात चहा देणारी बायकोच पाहिजे असेल तर मुलांनी Expectations मध्ये Engineer लिहू नये. मुलांनी संसार + career आणि मुलींनी मात्र (particularly मुलं झाल्यावर) संसार अथवा career हा काय न्याय आहे?

In search of the one - Part 2

The typical Chick-flick fan in me wants to quote a scene from My best friend's wedding. Rupert and Julia are out boating in Chicago, and Rupert says: when you love someone, you just say it. Then and there, loud and clear. Otherwise the moment just passes you by.
Obviously, my guy friends will have a different take to it. While my close buddy was narrating his "no more single" story to me, I told him about this scene, and he felt if not done right, it would scare the girl. (BTW my close guy friend should be the one to give out hints to my guy, so VJ if you have forgotten all that we have ever talked, and if that time comes, please ask the guy to ask me for a hint or 2!!) But when the situation is "guy meets girl in an "for arranged marriage" setting, the guy better speak up. And speak up soon. (As my other guy friend KK pointed out, the onus is equally the girl's. If she likes him, she better say so too)

The second guy I met in the course of my search told me about his life's goals. No communication for multiple days till recently. All this while, he was working on his goals, and has actually attained a couple of those. Had he let me know, I would have understood the reason behind the reticence, appreciated the cause and would have encouraged him too. But sadly, that was not to be, and by the time he re-contacted me, I had assumed he had moved on, and so had I.
  
Speaking up is not my only expectation though. I have mentioned it on both of my matrimonial profiles that I am a blogger. Any guy who did not take pains to know me better is automatically rejected. I mean come on, i would think it would be there in the 1st page of google search links. 

Had a dream a few days back. My dream guy's name is "Drumil". He finds out about my interest in Sanskrit, and pursues me, and literally wins me back. The previous "dream guy" named Sumedh turned out to be the MTS topper of my batch. Is it destiny at play? Or it is some long lost memory (11 year old) from my elephant-sized memory that simply forwarded the name to my subconscious? 

I know Drumil is a very rare name, so I will pass that criteria :P. But, Mr Persuasive Seeker, if you are reading this blog, then do let me know.
Waiting in anticipation..